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Archive for May 2007

Archive for May, 2007


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Melting Away in Sun at Salvo


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If I could stay on the Outer Banks forever – I’d be one happy camper. It just doesn’t get any better than this. The island is so narrow that we can see the ocean from our front windows and a clear view of the sound from the back windows. It’s almost 80; there isn’t a cloud in the sky; I don’t want to leave. In fact, I think we’re going to see a Realtor tomorrow about how we can retire to the Outer Banks.

It’s all good. Just the diversion I needed.


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OBX for the Week


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Hello to Fatladysingz readers, this is the Emperor on behalf of Lizzie. In response to the events of Lizzie’s previous post, Lizzie will be convalescing in the OBX next week. She is busy packing at the moment and she asked me to write a little post for her.Avon OBX

Jenny will be staying at home, but I will do my darnedest to insure that she makes good food choices while vacationing. She does love crab cakes and good salads for sure.

I am also sure she will make daily posts since the OBX rental she procured has not only a pool and a hot tub, but wifi as well.

Hopefully we will be able to eat at some restaurants other than Sonic or McDonald’s, but I am not sure how many places will be open this early in the season.


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A Bizarre Diversion


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There have been a few incidents in my life in the past that don’t even come close to seeming plausible. Anytime that I find myself telling bits and pieces of the story again… I’m certain that it really couldn’t have happened. I didn’t think I’d be revisiting this again – at least not this soon. Here’s a tiny bit of background.

I announced a few months ago that I was divorced – well, obviously at some time prior – I had been married. I don’t think I went into much, if any, details of the marriage. I had been married to someone who turned out to be a criminal. He put me and our four kids through hell. There wasn’t any physical abuse – in fact, he was a gentle soul; but, he was manipulative, evil and a self-proclaimed sociopath. The last time we saw him was February 2003 when he was over at my house to visit our kids. The court imposed supervised visitation for him – because I was so scared about him taking off with the kids and I’d never see them again. It wasn’t that he wanted the kids – he had been gone for three years preceding this without even a phone call for months at a time – it was that no one was going to tell him what he could or couldn’t do with his kids.

Anyway, the last time we saw him corresponded to a bench warrant being filed for failure to pay child support. At 9 o’clock in the evening I asked him to leave my house. He said no and after about 30 minutes of him not leaving – I called the police. They removed him from my house. At that time – I knew we’d never see him again. This was very calculated. It made me look like “the bad guy” to the kids – and that’s what he wanted in the kids minds for the last time they were going to see him.

At that time our kids were 7, 11, 13 and 14. I anticipated that he would return someday – most likely when our youngest was 18 or older. I also knew he’d probably remain in the greater Philadelphia area and he assume a new identity – otherwise he’d be found and have to pay the $1600 per month that the court ordered. Stealing identities wasn’t anything new to him. When we were first separated and my lawyer said to find out anything I could about his financial life – I found a number of social security cards, passports and other information in his possession with his photos.

Over the years that he’d been gone – I’d kept up a brief email relationship with his mother. In fact, it was his mother that made it possible for me to actually get divorced. It took a lot longer and cost a lot more money for me to get divorced – because he basically didn’t exist. And due to the fact that I didn’t ever get any child support – money was tight. But, I did get divorced.

This past Wednesday night at 10PM – I got a call from his mother and she said that Spencer’s dead. I knew he’d come back – but I never suspected that it would be in this capacity. When she told me – I think I was just in shock. I had no idea what to say, think or do. My biggest concern was the kids. They barely knew there father – especially the youngest. He wasn’t around for them to see how bizarre and evil he was – they’d built him up to be something he definitely never deserved.

The two following days were filled with a lot of calls from people I hadn’t heard from in years; a wide range of emotions from sadness to anger to euphoria; and the strange and depraved behavior of this man continues even after he does. I find myself on my way to the Philadelphia morgue to identify the body. Normally I would not have chosen to do this – but before he left me, he told me that he was going to fake his own death; funnel insurance money through his evil brother; and I’d never find the body. For this reason, it was really important to me to see his dead body.

When I was sitting at the morgue, talking to the medical examiner – there had been some confusion as to who this body belonged to. At that point I was told that Spencer had been married for three years. His name was that of a dead person he assumed (he told me exactly how he did this over the years) and he was married to some woman who was also an unknowing victim. Strange because I thought that I was still married to the man as of February 2007.

This man, who I put through Lehigh University as a mechanical engineer, was working as a carpenter and living in the basement of a building he was working on and using and I was told by the police and medical examiner that he was most likely dealing heroin – which is what ultimately killed him. They also told me that the wife wasn’t aware that she wasn’t married to a person that didn’t exist until he died. His evil brother was aware of the situation and continued to keep up his charade so he wouldn’t have to pay child support to our kids.

This was an exhausting experience, but I came out of it feeling free and I hope that because the kids had very little to do with their father – especially for the past 9 years – they’re doing ok too.

That was the very condensed version of the past few days. Needless to say – my diet’s gone to hell.


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Philly Cheesesteak


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So my father’s in the hospital recovering from recent bladder surgery where they completely removed his bladder and built a new one using his intestine – imagine that! He’s had a serious heart condition for the past 20 years and we considered him “living on borrowed time” for at least the past 10 years. About a month ago now, he finds out that he has aggressive bladder cancer… who would have thunk that it would be cancer and not a heart attack that would take him out. They presented him with the option of chemo and radiation that would have a 30% success rate of taking care of the cancer; or to have this surgery that – if his heart could hold up – would remove 100% of the cancer. According to him – there wasn’t anything to consider – surgery it was.

Well he made it through the bladder surgery with excellent results. The days following were not so good. In fact we really thought that he was not going to make it. The actual surgery wasn’t the problem – but the stress it put on his heart; the fact that he couldn’t be on his normal cardio medications; the anxiety he was experiencing – were the problems. But, through an intense amount of prayer; support from the staff in the critical care unit of Pottstown Memorial Hospital and the family that traveled far and wide to be with us…. he survived; is doing fabulous and can now be labeled as “indestructible”.

Now, it is due to the family that traveled far and wide to support us through this trauma that led me to the Philly Cheesesteak. Most of my extended family started out in the greater Philadelphia area, but have over the years moved to other parts of the country. There are several foods that are dearly missed by those originating from Philly. Many places try to duplicate these foods – but, personally I’ve yet to find a place outside of Philadelphia that can even come close to the originals. The cheesesteak is on the top of the list. Long story-short – that last night of the visiting relatives we went out for cheesesteaks at The Ice House in Pottstown, PA.

It was fabulous!

I did some checking on the calories and there seems to be a fairly large range. I did get a small cheesesteak – 8″ and it seems as if the calories could be anywhere from 710 – 1400. So, here’s my food from yesterday:

Breakfast Stuffed Sandwich – cal=200
Meatball Sandwich – cal=260
Anytime Vitamin bar – cal=110
Philly Cheesesteak – cal=710 (I make the rules so I’m going with the lowest!)

Total calories = 1280

Wow – that’s not too bad. Of course if I used the highest calories it would be – 1970.


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Back on Track Eating Healthy


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I’ve stopped counting days until the wedding – I think the stress is making me cranky. Speaking of cranking – I recently stumbled upon a blog that made me laugh hard – Cranky Fitness. Anyway, I’m back to Jenny Craig and the fog is starting to lift – but, I’ve been in a bad mood for the last two days.

I’m not blaming Jenny, but still, I’m cranky. It’s gotten to the point where I think the Emperor is starting to avoid me and that’s difficult since we live, work and play together.

Enough complaining… yesterday I ate:

Oatmeal square for Breakfast – cal=190
Southwest Chicken burrito for lunch – cal=260
Chocolate Chip cookies for snack – cal=130
Hit the pretzel jug for the softball game – cal=180
Penne pasta for dinner – cal=280

Total calories=1040

I don’t think that’s enough calories – no wonder I’m cranky.


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New Day; New Attitude; New Diet


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Not exactly a new diet as my freezer is overflowing with Jenny Craig food, but definitely a new attitude. Lady Rose of the Incredible Shrinking Ladies gave me some simple and excellent advice when I was really struggling last week. Oh how much I didn’t want to “diet”. My father of 70 years had major surgery; we really thought we lost him one night; I’ve this wedding to plan and no help; too much work in front of me and no desire to do anything.

She simply said that “Sometimes you just have to eat healthy even when you are NOT motivated”. Wow. Do something when I don’t feel like it???? I suppose it’s exactly that attitude that got me into this mess. Now it all makes sense and even though I do not feel like it – I’m going to persevere to the end or at least until Jenny Craig is out of my freezer.

One a side note… my father is now doing really well and the wedding will go on – whether I’m ready or not.


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3 Things I Love…


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I’ve been tagged by Laketress; who was tagged by 1 Million Love Messages who began this Meme – “3 Things You Love”.

With my father being sick… I think taking the time to concentrate on love is exactly what I need.

The questions:

“ 3 Things You Love”

1- 3 Things You Love in your Boyfriend/ Girlfriend or Husband/ Wife

Endless sense of humor;
Undying support;
Compassion

2- 3 Things You Love in a Friend

Willingness to listen to anything;
Getting away from the ordinary;
Talking

3- 3 Things You Love in a Book

Knowing they exist even if I choose not to pick them up;
Remembering the ones I loved;
Wanting to be part of one

4- 3 Things You Love in a Movie

Beauty;
Being taken away;
John Malkovich

5- 3 Things You Love in a Blog

Community;
Uniqueness;
Being tagged

6- 3 Things You Love to Talk About

Me!;
Travel;
Friends

7- 3 Things You Love to do in Vacations

Plan them;
Get there;

Absolutely nothing… relax and be gone
8- 3 Things You Love to Eat

Unfortunately pizza;
Chocolate Ice Cream;
Diet Lemon Snapple

9- 3 Things You Love to Happen in Your Life

Be with the Emperor;
Get new business;
Travel

And last but not the least

10- 3 Things You Love in 1 Million Love Messages

It’s all good;
Community;
The post from Adam!

Now I need to tag some bloggers….

1 – LadyRose from The Incredible Shrinking Ladies – who is always encouraging
2 – KrissyPoopyHands from SpeckBlog – I love everything she writes (I have “writer envy”)
3 – Pixelheadonline – cause you just can’t get tagged too much